I hope you're doing fine out there without me
'Cos I'm not doing so good without you.
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth though all this fear,
And living without you
CHORUS:
And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll never be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me
I can't take another day without you
'Cos baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long, just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
Repeat Chorus
As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When you're not here
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
Everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
Repeat Chorus
Maybe I should be listening to happier songs, sappy and sentimental ones aren't helping.
The song "Here By Me" by 3 Doors Down basically sums up my feelings right now. It's just one of those crappy days when the distance between D and I gets into me quite abit. It's a measly 2 weeks apart compared to the hideous 9 months separation we had in 2004.
D, I miz u lots.
And when I am in one of my pensive moods, I think a bit deeper for both of us, maybe slightly more for me.
I feel like I am neither here nor there when D isn't here besides me... it feels kinda odd that I am physically in this apartment called "home", but I somewhat feel I am not at home. It's a different feeling unlike our little den in HK which feels homely and cosy; the HK home has our love, care and attention. Whereas this one in S'pore... I feel like I am a guest, maybe even an intruder stepping back into a different life. Perhaps it's because this is more like my mother-in-law's domain; it's more like we are staying with her, and not the other way round. Afterall she has been staying here much longer than I have, and all its decor and the entire system of managing this place is done according to her way.
So maybe it's the sum of all things... I really don't know if I could return to such a life if D and I return to S'pore. It's good to know there is quite a big roof over our heads and we are fortunate that we have a domestic helper in S'pore 'cos of my D's mum. Frankly, I would give that all up, live in a smaller place and clean the place myself, as long as it's our personal space just for the 2 of us (and kids when they come along).