Lil' Sneakers & Trainers

I'm in trouble, big trouble. I'm captivated by these lil' sneakers and trainers each time I visit a sports store. And whenever I pick one up and shove it into D's face, gushing over how cute these lil' things look, D would have to "snatch" these things from me, and proclaim that I have been taken over by the Dark Side Of The Baby Kingdom.

In recent months, the thought of stepping into motherhood isn't as scary as I think it to be. D and I have been talking about it for awhile now, especially in these past couple of months. So far, we have kind of decided on a time frame (which is later in the yr); and I will have the kid back in S'pore ('cos it is cheaper and we both feel better to have my mum around during the initial months).

Looking at how things are now, D is happy with his job here in HK and I reckon we will be here for awhile. But there are a number of issues we still haven't quite ironed out yet, particularly who will be the primary caregiver when I return to work in HK.

D and I talked about this some days back, and I said that this will be the one time we will be totally independent and responsible for another person... Independent because we are on our own, away from our support group in S'pore. There will not be "Leave the kid with mum and dad when we go out", or "Ask mum and dad to look after the kid from Mondays to Fridays and we just take the kid back during the weekends". The easy way out.

Responsible because every decision we make will concern this new addition. This seems to be so much work.

Especially since I do think I should continue to work, as it is tough to live on one salary, but not impossible... just that we need to re-prioritise our needs and wants. But who is going to take care of the kid.

Now, life is really simple. Work, go out, watch a movie, late nights, rock climbing, sleep... it's just the 2 of us. I don't know if I want to complicate my life with another being... but at the end of the day, I do think something is missing. It's like a void, an emptiness at times, but I am not sure if having a kid will fill that.

During dinner today, I reminded D that we will be officially married for 3 years on 8th June and that also meant we have been together for 10 years, from the time we began the dating game till now. So I asked him what does he see us in the next 10 years, and he said, "Raising a kid".

In the meantime, I am looking at these cute lil' sneakers which I would buy for my kid, even if he/she outgrows them really quickly, but being the Nike fan that I am, how not to introduce Nike to them? Incidentally, I saw these cute Teva sandals for toddlers couple of days back, didn't know that Teva makes sandals for toddlers.

Hmmm